AIR FORCE WIVES LAMENT

Who said that "Variety is the Spice of Life"
No doubt 'twas first said by an Air Force wife
For the poor girl never knows just where she's at
Her home is wherever he parks HIS hat
She moves every two years into new sets of quarters
During which time she births sons and daughters.

She packs up to move to the plains of Nebraska
Then orders are changed and she goes to Alaska
It may be a hut with no room for expansion
It may be a tent or perhaps it's a mansion
She wrangles saw horses and builds all the beds
Makes curtains of target-cloth she last used for spreads ...

And during each move, now isn't it strange
The brats invariably catch mumps, measles or mange.
She no more than gets settled when she must dress up
and go to a party and be charming and witty.
She must know Contract rules, Mah-Jong and chess
And whether a straight or a flush is the best.

On every subject she must know how to discourse
She must swim, ski and golf and ride any troop horse
She must know the songs and traditions of the KAYDET corps
And she fast learns all details how HE won the war.
She jitterbugs with Lieutenants who are always glamorous
Then waltzes with Colonels who are usually amorous.

She must drink all concoctions, gin, whiskey and beer
But of course moderately or she'll wreck HIS career
HE insists on economy, checks every check stub,
Yet her house must be run like a hotel or club,
For she entertains at all hours, both early and late
For any number of guests --- eighty or eight.

The first of the month there is plenty of cash
So she serves turkey and ham, but the last weeks it's hash.
She juggles the budget for a new tropical worsted,
Though the seams on her own best outfit have bursted,
Then she just gets the uniform payments arranged
When his blouse is no good --- regulations have changed.

One year she has servants and lives like a lady
The next she does here own work, and has a new baby.
That there'll be a bank balance she has no assurance,
It all goes for 'likker' or some damned insurance.
At an age to retire HE is still hale and hearty
Fit as a fiddle, the life of the party.
While she is old and haggard, cranky and nervous
Really a wreck after HIS multi years of service.

But even when all's said and done,
She still believes the Air Force life's fun.
She has loved every minute, and why --- good grief
She'd have been bored with doctor or merchant or chief.
But there's one fancy medal, and all Air Force men wear it,
It's their wives should have it --- that "LEGION OF MERIT".

Compiled by USAF Officer's Wives,
406th Fighter-Interceptor Wing
RAF Station, Manston, England, 1957